Link to the Past

01/27/2011

no longer suits

Urgency Day 204

500 Things Item 284: Wedding Frock

  • History: Mom’s second wedding attire
  • Value: Point of contention
  • Parting Pain: Not even a flutter
  • Un-possessing: Consigning

My mom is one of two daughters. Mom has two daughters, the older of whom—my sister—has two daughters.

When I was pregnant, we all joked that if the baby turned out to be a boy, we would send him back. Well, they joked. I was kind of serious. What the heck was I supposed to do with a boy?

Guess which daughter had a boy.

Pretty quickly, we figured stuff out. One advantage we had was that my sister and I are science fiction fans. Stars Trek and Wars are greatly, some would say fanatically, esteemed by us. And the Self-Contained Unit drank the Tang right along with us. His early days were filled with all manner of lasers and phasers and tricorders. And lightsabers. Did you know that lightsabers are like swords, which, “coincidentally,” Peter Pan, Link, and Luke all wield?

But I have a few possessions in which my sword-carrying son has no interest. Even if he were a she, s/he might have no interest: Who’s to say? But some things have traditionally been passed from mother to daughter, not mother to son. Wedding dresses are one example.

I have mine. It’s wrapped, reasonably well, and will continue to be stored, I’m afraid, until someone else has to dispose of it. Sorry guys, but my lack of sentimentality ends at my wedding dress.

“The line must be drawn HERE. This far, no farther!”

We also still preserve my mom’s first wedding dress, the one she wore to marry my dad. It’s gorgeous; silk georgette, a bit of tasteful embellishment though no beading, and oh my, her waist was tiny. Like Miss Scarlett tiny. I couldn’t wear it, but I love it. All the sisters do, and it will be preserved. But not by Sam.

Mom’s second wedding frock, however? Well, hmmm. Let’s just say there is a bit less sentiment attached to it. Far more beads but less sentiment.

Mom, of course, has the final vote in the matter of its un-possessing. Fortunately, she was quite dispassionate about it, agreeing that it could be downsized without guilt. So, uniquely in this project, an item will go to a consignment shop. Will it be a temptation for another bride?  A mother-of-a-bride? I hope we can learn the second frock’s fate.

Mom is so happy in her current solo digs. She has the airiest mother-in-law suite conceivable, attached to my sister’s house. Her slogan for her apartment is:

“No boys allowed.”

I can’t believe I ever felt anything like that about a sword-loving boy.

consigned to its fate

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4 Responses to “Link to the Past”

  1. Donna Says:

    It’s not “the line must be drawn here”, it’s the line must be drawn he-ah! I know. I use it all the time. And a world without Sam?–I don’t think so.

    Don’t know if you’ve blogged about this, but two generations back from us, there was little sentimentality about “un-possessing.” Our maternal grandmother threw out, I am sure, many things which would fetch a pretty penny now-a-days. Future value wasn’t a consideration to her or those of her generation who were not concerned with collecting and amassing “stuff.” Practicality, not sentimentality, ruled the day. And since “best practices” were a matter of personal ideology and not an off-shoot of today’s episode of Oprah, much stuff went. Furthermore, houses were smaller, closets were smaller, and the Container Store did not exist. So we have our mother’s wedding dress, our wedding dresses, and Erin’s wedding dress. But we don’t have our grandmother’s wedding dress. I’ve lost the thread of where this was going, but I agree that the Ted/Joyce dress can go. Hope somebody loves it.

    • sthibeault Says:

      I’ll venture a guess that where you were going was that we have so much more stuff, because of larger houses and closets and more containers and we live longer and pass on not just more stuff but have plenty of time to pass on our emotional baggage as well. Thank goodness our mother didn’t do that with the second frock– pass on guilt, I mean. And I bet Grandmom’s wedding dress was just that: a dress, that she probably made, because she was good at stuff like sewing that meant you didn’t have to buy stuff. There’s my venture. And you’re right, it’s “he-ah,” no farther!

  2. melanie Says:

    Aren’t sons the best? (without exclusion of daughters – after all, I AM one). I just did a killer ab(abdominal) workout with my son yesterday. I was able to do 1/2 of what he did; but since I’m twice his age, it’s as if I actually did 4 times as much!It’s the new math.


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