Fridge Friends


insight or insult

Urgency Day 199

500 Things Items 286-290: Fridge clutter

  • History: On the spectrum of empty to expired
  • Value: I think I will muddle through with anchovy-less Caesar dressing
  • Parting Pain: Only from the jar-cleaning chore
  • Un-possessing: On the spectrum from recycle to trash

We all have too few refrigerator friends.

You can be sure this is not meant as encouragement to load up on goofy refrigerator magnets. It is meant as encouragement to have more friends you would allow to poke around in your refrigerator without asking first. Somehow, in the HGTV years, we’ve gotten away from this.

What are we afraid of? Embarrassment over the expired jar of mint jelly from last Easter? Apparently, yes. I know this, because I have a family member (who will go by the obfuscating alias of Ronna) who grimaces every time I, her beloved baby sister, go into her fridge.

Look, I feel like I am providing a service, a service which some people pay bi-weekly for, when I notice an obviously toxic product(s) and clean out this fridge clutter. It’s not judgment: it’s tidying up!

Okay, toxic is a bit strong. How about blechy?

I first used the phrase “refrigerator friend” years ago with my friend Elizabeth. Smart cookie that she is, she caught my meaning instantly, and we’ve been happy fridge friends ever since. She’ll go into my fridge; I’ll go into hers. Who worries about embarrassment when BOYS ARE HUNGRY!

What really got me thinking about embarrassing fridge clutter was my friend Kara. Kara is studying to be a nutritionist and is asking for observations about her friends’ eating habits. As a devout label-reader, I was delighted to apply her professional scrutiny to my kitchen. Turns out, I could use some. I found a bit of fridge clutter in my fridge. Some really really blechy fridge clutter.

Where are Ronna and Elizabeth when I need them?

The Self-Contained Unit knows the culinary epitaph I hope to have earned:

“She was as frugal with leftovers as a French farm wife.”

What does it say about me, then, that I was praying that blechy tube of anchovy paste had expired?


12 Responses to “Fridge Friends”

  1. melanie Says:

    I can’t wait to show you the contents of my fridge – and the 5 different mustards it is housing. We have no protein in the fridge – just condiments. In this snowstorm, if you have a craving for any kind of mustard, or any kind of hot sauce… I suggest, for the sake of expediency, don’t go to 7-11; just come here. I’m going to look for the blechy stuff right now and toss. Thanks new fridge friend.

  2. sthibeault Says:

    When Paul and I met, he was confused but charmed by the number of pickles we had in our fridge. I guess, based on our preferences for ballpark foods, you and I were destined to become fridge friends.

  3. Paul Says:

    They had twelve (12) TWELVE jars of pickles! I was a graduate student who had 3 cans of Red, White, and Blue Beer, a jar of picante sauce, and a moldering apple. All those pickles just seemed so, you know, decadent.

  4. Sydney Says:

    My fridge sounds almost identical to Melanie’s. I’m quite weary of all the condiments, and specifically, the variety of mustards and hot sauces. It’s so interesting what your fridge says about your shopping weaknesses…

    We have no pickles.

  5. melanie Says:

    That is a mixed marriage; a person with a scant amount of GENERIC beer marrying a person with a stockpile of, what I can only HOPE, were name-brand pickles.

    Sydney is right – you can tell a lot about a person by their fridge. Open up my fridge and see into my soul!

  6. Donna Says:

    We have reduced our pickle hoard from eight to two (or one? — I don’t feel like going to count right now). The problem with pickles is they never “seem” to go bad. (Same with jars of mustard.) I suspect that in a post-apocalyptic world people may be able to survive on random jars of pickles and mustard for a very long time.

    PS I cleaned out my fridg yesterday (before I read your latest posting), so now would be a good time to come poke around.

  7. sthibeault Says:

    The post-apocalyptic world may be what we’re facing right now! Snow drifts cover the side of my neighbor’s house, not even the hearty Midwesterners are venturing out. WE NEED MORE PICKLES!

    PS I wish I could come poke around now– and now you’ve outed your identity 😉

  8. Donna Says:

    Ronna? Who’s Ronna?

  9. Donna Says:

    I don’t know if this violates the “reply laws” to leave two in a row with nothing in between, but…I need help. I wanted to leave a clever reply to Paul’s post, but I was unable to finish it. I’m sure one of you clever people can do it for me. “He jests at jars that never smelt a _______” Where is Buddy Sorrell when I need him?

    I also considered “not in our jars, but in our smells”, but it just didn’t have the same satisfaction quotient.

    • sthibeault Says:

      Gotta love a good Buddy Sorrell reference! I’ll keep you posted, if we can complete you’re winning entry. Also, no “reply laws” around here. Just productive anarchy. Keep em’ coming!

  10. “He jests at jars that never smelt a smelt left in jars,” he jests.

    Does that work?

  11. sthibeault Says:

    That’s true brotherly-in-law love.

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