Dressing for the Apocalypse

02/02/2011

Today, half the Pumpkin is buried in snow!

Urgency Day 198

500 Things Item 291:  Pumpkin Coat

  • History: First purchase during first Illinois winter
  • Value: $125 and still priceless
  • Parting Pain: We’ll keep in touch
  • Un-possessing: Auction

When the Apocalypse comes, what will you be wearing?

I never really gave this much thought—any thought—until last night when the Apocalypse came. I was wearing seven layers of polypropylene and wool. Turns out, the world will end in ice, and you can’t possibly be wearing enough polypropylene and wool.

So why on earth am I un-possessing this gorgeous LL Bean full-length down coat in the middle of the Apocalypse?

Because I’m not a soccer mom anymore.

This coat was magic, sitting on the sidelines of soccer fields on the plains of Illinois. Remember the line from Oklahoma?

Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain!

I think maybe Messrs. Rogers and Hammerstein couldn’t rhyme Illinois, so they settled on Oklahoma instead for their musical. The wind sure does BLOW here. Chicago is the Windy City, after all.

FUN FACT: Chicago was originally called the Windy City, because we Chicagoans are a bunch of blowhards, full of hot air. But it is windy here. Probably the windiest place on earth.

At least our soccer fields are the windiest.

This coat, the Pumpkin Coat, wrapped me up good-n-snug during those crazy days of sitting in canvas chairs or on metal—METAL!— bleachers, bundled up in as many layers of down and wool as I could warp [sic.] around me and still root on boys who were running around in shorts.

Our kids are the toughest.

Here’s what the Pumpkin Coat is not good for:

  • Getting in and out of cars.
  • Walking though snow.
  • Walking period.

For driving, for getting in and out of cars and scurrying back to my so-far-still-heated home  (Deo gratias!),  I much prefer my Michelin Man, high-tech, wind-destroying parka.

The Pumpkin Coat will not be what I’m wearing for the next Apocalypse.


 

Urgency Day 198

500 Things Item 286: Pumpkin Coat

  • History: First purchase during first Illinois winter
  • Value:  $125 and still priceless
  • Parting Pain: We’ll keep in touch
  • Un-possessing: Auction

 

When the apocalypse comes, what will you be wearing?

 

I never really gave this much thought—any thought—until last night when the apocalypse came. I was wearing seven layers of polypropylene and wool. Turns out, the world will end in ice, and you can’t possibly be wearing enough polypropylene and wool.

 

So why on earth am I un-possessing this gorgeous LL Bean full-length down coat in the middle of the apocalypse?

 

Because I’m not a soccer mom anymore.

 

This coat was magic, sitting on the sidelines of soccer fields on the plains of Illinois. Remember the line from Oklahoma?

 

Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain!

 

I think maybe Messrs. Rogers and Hammerstein couldn’t rhyme Illinois, so they settled on Oklahoma instead for their musical. The wind sure does BLOW here. Chicago is the Windy City, after all.

 

Fun fact: Chicago was originally called the Windy City, because we’re a bunch of blowhards, full of hot air. But it is windy here. Probably the windiest place on earth.

 

At least our soccer fields are the windiest.

 

So this coat, the Pumpkin Coat, wrapped me up good-n-snug during those crazy days of sitting in canvas chairs or on metal—METAL!– bleachers, bundled up in as many layers of down and wool as I could warp [sic.] around me and still root on boys who were running around in shorts.

 

Our kids are the toughest.

 

Here’s what the Pumpkin Coat is not good for:

  • Getting in and out of cars.
  • Walking though snow.
  • Walking.

 

For driving, for getting in and out of cars and scurrying back to my so-far-still-heated home, I much prefer my Michelin Man, high-tech, wind-destroying parka.

 

The Pumpkin Coat will not be what I’m wearing for the next apocalypse.

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5 Responses to “Dressing for the Apocalypse”

  1. kara Says:

    What’s the size?! I’m guessing it is for cute petite women and not for me. My formerly white down coat is too embarrassing to wear and my newer down-like coat just isn’t as warm. I plan to ride out the weather with a cup of hot chocolate on the couch, so no need just yet.

  2. sthibeault Says:

    I think you’d be adorable sipping hot chocolate in the Pumpkin coat! Full of anti-oxidants 😉

  3. melanie Says:

    There WAS a separate wardrobe for when we were soccer moms.Still brings a smile to my face to have earned the honorable label of “Soccer mom.”

    I woke up thinking about music from “Oklahoma” too. I was singing “The snow is as high as an elephant’s eye…”

  4. sthibeault Says:

    Poor elephant… Good lyrics, that can morph from corn to snow and still be meaningful. They don’t write ’em like that anymore. Of course, now I’m thinking of Cage the Elephant. Love that band (that’s me trying not to look too lame for Sam).

  5. Sam Says:

    you forgot to mention its famous appearance worn by the infamous Te-Bo


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